Ok I have had to take a back seat these past couple of weeks.

Things have been a bit touch and go, and still are but I thought I had better push my selfish side into the background and let all my fans know whats been going on and why I haven't been in touch. Well I think if I start with all the negative stuff first then I can talk about myself again at the end.

Wolfie is going to Christchurch tomorrow for a major operation, I think everyone is really worried, anyway he has a few possible things wrong and they need to find out for sure what it is, I gather only one scenario is operable. They wont even discuss why the other isn't operable with us, just say it has to be the 'torsion' and not the 'tumour' option, because he is so full of life at the moment.

But anyway he was struggling for breath a week ago and keeping me awake with his coughing and wheezing all day and night. All I know is it is to do with his lungs as they were full of fluid which is why he couldn't breath.

Then he was given some tablets and went away for a day, we went and collected him (I got to go to the beach while he was away and played with another dog!!!) and he was given more medicine to take, which I don't really understand why he eats them so happily, he reckons they are tasty, but I cannot see how they can be, just the thought makes me go YUCK!

Anyway he is doing really well, in fact he is like a new dog compared to how he was before he got sick. We were talking about it the other night me and him, and he said his joints don't hurt anymore and because of that his brain seems to work better too. He even lurched for the ball the other night when we were playing 'doggy boot camp'. He asks me to pass the name of this wonder drug onto you to let all fellow canines know their options so they are empowered to get the correct help where possible, it is called Rimadyl or Carprofen.

Anyway so we also went to the beach the other evening which was nice as the water was shallow so I didn't have to work to hard to fetch the ball. Wolfie wasn't made to go in this time, so he just walked about on the sand.

Well as if things were not traumatic enough for us here, my little protege Merlin takes sick on Wednesday, Wolf said that he ate 5 of his pills, which we are informed is an overdose of 250 times, they were quick in getting him to the vet and he had his stomach pumped and came home, however on Sunday he started being sick and they took him back to the vets. We were told last night that it was a toxic dose that he had received from the blood test results and that they would keep him on a drip for as long as they could and then once he is taken off it, it will depend if his kidneys can function on their own, with a special diet, so we don't know now for a few days at least. Mum says they are going to visit him in hospital today. I am so sad I really miss him, I am keeping all my paw pads crossed for him.



So all in all this week is going to be a bit tense around here!

Mum says we have to get up at 4.30 in the morning tomorrow, I didn't know there was a 4 in the morning! I want to stay home and sleep! She doesn't trust me, so i have to go too, how can she make such a slur on my character!

Ok that's the update on all the bad stuff that's going on

Now it is time to talk about me and what I have been up to......

I will air my grievances first, and for the record these are applicable before Wolfie and Merlin's sickness incidents.

• I haven't been to agility for 2 weeks and tonight is going to be week 3 if I don't go!



• I got dressed up to look like an idiot! just so the sheep could laugh at me I reckon!



• I go with mum for another 'Great Bush Adventure' and she doesn't listen to me on how to get back! also we only went a little way before going back - BORING!



• They have put holes for their golf game in my runway for 'doggy boot camp'



• They play 4 different types of ball games without including me, and when I go get the ball they tell me off! Do they not know that All Balls = Dog Toys - SIMPLE AS!!! It is like the changing of the tides, get used to it!
  
  
• They put these bags with stick things in it, in our accommodation suite of the Canine Transport Vehicle and leave us behind for hours!



• They buy us these big yummy bones then end up going out nearly all day leaving us shut in the back yard and our bones in the garden! Work it out for yourself!



• Again they buy us bones then tell me I smell and not to breath on them, Excuse me! have they smelt their own breath after they eat?



• They are not doing anything about Possum Control! and they are taking over my garden and I don't like going out there at night now! They have big claws and huge teeth
  

However I have the new sport of going to the toilet in different AREAS of the garden each day, so when they play their silly games they have to do a poo sweep first!!

Here are some piccies of us all together on Saturday, as you can see we were all fine and dandy! This was before little Merlin took ill.

Oh yes on Sunday I was allowed into the sheep field again, this time without silly clothes, see below picture of the clothes from last time - how humiliating that was, the sheep still mock me, but they will shut up now that I am allowed back in the field, that will teach them!!!!!

Paul was making a pen for them, I guess that is to help me catch them easier, as they must be ready to eat by now! Oh and Wolfie came up into the field too, that is something we couldn't do before he got sick and was on these tablets. We were planning how we can drive them into the pen, and where to bite first. We think we have a plan!! However we need Merlin's input as he is much better at trapping and catching things!

Oh and I have perfected the farting and belching thing to sound totally human now, and mum got the blame for a loud belch I managed this morning while Paul's back was turned, I was laughing so much, I had to hide my head in the rug!

I am the king of paper delivery! Mum keeps promising to take a photo but she forgets, because it is early morning is her excuse, well HELLO!!!, it is early morning for me too, but does she get off her fat backside out into the cold to go fetch the paper, NO!! she doesn't, but she expects me to.

I overheard them yesterday saying something about training me to become their caddy!! Will someone let me know what this is because the phrase 'RAT ROLL' springs to mind at the moment, it cannot be a good thing........

Anyway I shall leave you for now and I will let you know how Wolf and Merlin are doing and please everybody do what is needed, pray, use willpower and such, cross paws and fingers to ensure they get better. I cannot bear to be without either!

Till laters!!

Well what a busy time, so much to tell I don't know where to start, I shall try not to repeat any of the drivel mum has written or you will get bored and I am more important after all!

OK so I guess I should start with the trip to Alexandra for Waitangi Weekend. This was great we saw my friend 'H' again, and she took us out for a nice walk.

We had bones, big ones! They were like yummy!

We went to the big river, now that was soooooooo funny....



Mum fell over and couldn't get up hehe!! Serves her right really. You see her and him were doing the whole 'doggy boot camp' thing of throwing the ball to each other across the river, however he is a real bad thrower, so she had to try to run in the water to get the ball before me, and yep you guessed it she fell over. Bad enough but she had to further humiliate herself by not being able to get up. Well if she took a page out of her own book and got off her lardy arse more often then she wouldn't have had a problem I reckon. So we all had a good laugh at her, and even he struggled to lift her up out the water.

Then we had another laugh in the fact that H's husband couldn't get his 4 x 4 up the track from the river, well we managed it in ours first time!! Oh we gave him some stick. It was a really funny ha ha' kind of day. So after that we went ate our bones, I wanted to play the pitch and putt with them but they kept taking the ball off me. I don't see why they needed those stick things as I was able to get the ball in the hole easy enough without one, and I don't have thumbs!!! don't get it really, humans are really stupid sometimes. Oh and they had a visitor who couldn't help but remark on my beauty and personality.....I soaked this up for a good half hour at least......




The next day our friend H took us and the rest of the family for a walk, don't know where mum and him went, don't really care either, we enjoyed ourselves, especially trying to get the humans to go under the water sprinkler was funny, you have to make sure you handled them the right way or they avoid it, so you have to hold onto them or get them to hold onto you while you go under, dead easy, then they cant escape you see. Oh and another laugh we had was at the silly little dog next door, it was yap yap yap non stop, gave itself a sore throat, I just gave it my look of disdain and disbelief that I am distantly related to such an insignificant member of the canine genus. It soon shut up!

Well we came back and chilled out for a few hours, then off to the river again. Now this we are not so happy about... He lies a story, let me know what your thoughts are on this as I reckon they were trying to off us!

Well you know how we always had our life jackets on the boat, and we only wore them if it was a bit dangerous or such. Well she put them on us at the river, and took us in a different bit of the river which was deeper and then they held onto us while making us paddle.



It was scary, as soon as we could get loose we were off to where we could touch the ground and didn't go back to them until the end of their messing about in the water. Anyway water was far too clean anyway. I hate clean water!



Off we went home from here. Oh and this time H's husband managed to get his motor up the track, his excuse was that it wasnt in 4 wheel drive the day before, yeah ok we believe you!

So we commence the long drive home and have to make a detour so get home quite late, so have some food and get to bed as most tired.

The next day he is farting about in the field, doing stuff and she had shut me in the house, well sorry but that is unacceptable!

I do not get shut in!

Anyway when she went to the loo or something I went for a wander, I reckoned he would need my expert opinion and possible help here. So I helped him do the bits and pieces in the field.

Anyway we came back and he warned me I should stay outside for a minute, so I reckoned that for a minute or two that would be acceptable.

He went in the house

And what a racket, she was squawking like a chook at slaughter time!!!!

I thought rat roll what has he done wrong!! I know this sound only too well!!

Only it wasnt him she was mad with..................

She came out and she had a right go at me! I don't understand why, I had been good as gold, helping him out and everything. Here I was just sitting quietly minding my own business......




The words 'burrs' and 'billy buds' uttering from her enraged mouth is starting to bring back some bad memories of that walk we had a couple of weeks ago!

Anyway I decide this is probably a good time for an afternoon nap to give her a chance to calm down, so I slope off into my room (holding my head high mind you!! I have done nothing wrong in my view). Oh yes remind me to tell you all about 'my, oops sorry 'our' room later!

Well anyway they bog off and I am thinking good, no brushing of me this is a bonus, seem to have got away with it this time, so recruit my little sidekick to get started on gently removing them. Difficult as Merlin definitely has some problems in understanding the word gently, cats they are stupid you know, it is a fact, and i have studied it well.

OK so they come back, I am waiting patiently for an apology from her for the way she spoke to me earlier, but no nada!

Weird now this is....

We see them lugging two great big fluffy things up the garden and then let them go into the field.




Well BINGO I have my very own food to chase! I recognise these things, they go great with a bit of mint sauce and rosemary and we have plenty of both. And the white fluffy stuff makes a great rug to lie on not to mention the bones, oh the bones ..... so well I accept that this is her way of an apology.

However I am also thinking, you see this is where you can understand how intelligent I am!! This is a test from her you see, she thinks i am stupid!!

How can I get at the moving lamb shanks without going into the field that has those sticky things in that makes her mad when I get them on me!!

This is going to have to be thought out carefully. I will let you know when I have worked it out.

A plan is forming in my brain.....

That evening she and he brushed me, I figured I should keep quiet this time around as she was not in the mood to be messed about..... Discretion the best part of valour or so to speak!!!!

It still hurt A LOT!!!

So onto the next escapade in our eventful lives..

We had a boring day the other day, as we had to sit outside, and it was quite chilly after the heat we got used to in Alexandra, while she put down a new carpet for the kitchen for us, I thought well that is quite considerate really as the wood floor is quite hard on the bones, and our room...., ah yes lets me tell you about 'our' room

Just look at how much clutter has appeared, go on LOOK! it is not on, and not fair, it is OUR room!!






And look! what is this that has appeared!!!




Do we look like 'girls'? NO DO NOT ANSWER THAT!

So anyway she puts down this carpet, and then he comes home and helps her finish it off, and yepo that's me, sorted! lovely and comfy, by the back door, means I can make a quick escape if need be.

So off to bed.....

I come into the bedroom with them and they deliberate and say OK they can have the run of the house tonight!!

Whoops of joy cos Wolfie is passing some BAD wind in our room!!!!

The next morning........

Rat Roll.........

Not good.......................

Even in my scale of 'accidents' this eclipses them

Well i am outta here!

It was not me!!!

Really!!!!

So mum amid mega cursing swearing and general mutterings of threats of death.....

She commences the bum inspection and I pass with flying colours of course

Wolfie was not so lucky

He is not her favourite canine at the moment

Anyway onto the latest day at training that was yesterday

Well I am just so good

Look at me

Still narked though that I cannot go up to the next class of proper sized jumps until I can do 12 weave poles, it is going to take me forever! as they only do sets of three at a time. BORED NOW!!! But it is fun though.






However being as I am the biggest I couldn't do some of the stuff yesterday as I am too big, not fair! But I like showing them all how to do stuff, as I am a proffie!!

I showed them all how to do a sequence of collapsible tunnel, jump, the A Frame with contact points, and jump. Also fixed tunnel with right angle bend in it followed by a jump. The only thing I am not too happy about is the plank walk (Dog Walk) It seems a bit wobbly and definitely thinner than what I was used to, but mum took me on it slowly a few times and gave me lots of liver so I guess it will be OK.













Well that is possibly it for today, need to go check on the lamb chops, as I am still trying to tempt them over to the garden where they will be within my grasp and I wont get into trouble for getting the billy bids on me.



Like I said before I am so NOT stupid!!!

Well I am so really tired now, must have a nap to keep my youthful good looks and razor sharp brain......



OK till laters dudes

Simmy and Wolf

P.S Forgot to show you my sexy new collar for training