Well We Are Incensed!

Not impressed at all!

Well you know how I was optimistic on Xmas Eve about a long promised walk and how it was imminent, well

NO it didn't happen! I am still traumatised about this!

However

Yesterday we went for a trip to Smails Beach. Well I wish we hadn't bothered as I am now struggling to walk, I ache so much. Doggy Boot Camp again!!

Two Flaming Hours!

But as you can see we had some issues in relation to the whole chase game that she and he think is fun

Well I can tell you something, I am smarter than them

As you can see in the pictures there are a couple of options open to me, alas only one on film though and that is to sit down miles away from them. The other is let the silly idiots throw the stick or toy (I prefer to do this with the toy as the stick is dispensable, but she wont risk loosing a toy if she can help it)

Well early on in proceedings I decided to test this out and went in after a stick and only brought it half way in before dropping it in the water. Well plonker 1 and plonker 2 dilly dallied around the water to try and get it without getting too wet. In the end Wolf lost patience with them and went and got it.

Shame on him i say!

Anyway they then decided to upgrade to a ball

And this is where the fun began!!!

Number one - It was a soft ball on elastic rope type stuff - BIG mistake H U G E !!!!!!!!!

I will expand on this for those of you that are not fast enough in your brains to get the true value of this mistake....

I can clamp (my jaws shut) if it is a soft ball and that means they cant get their fingers in my mouth LOL LOL and here is the big laugh!!

Number two - Elastic rope, he he he he I am still rolling around laughing on this one..... There is the increased risk that I may let go without warning!!, and then the one holding the rope, ends up with my manky wet ball in the mush LOL LOL LOL

Needless to say it is to my advantage when the ball comes out, I am on a winner!!

Number three - Oh and I also thought I would test out the theory as to whether if I didn't run after the ball to retrieve it, whether flabby arse herself would go and get it........ Well guess what????

Of course she didn't!

Wolfie went and brought it back for me...Good old boy he is!

Anyway here are a few pics of the fun we had

Mum and my battle of wills


And ten minutes later still battling!!


Now this is around 15 mins into the whole thing before remembering the elastic ping trick!!


And then this is the distance trick of 'come and get me if you can be arsed'!!!!


And refreshments, but something got up my nose!!!


But and there is always a flipside in this life, especially if you live with 'her'!

I got brushed when we got back because I had laid down (I thought it was funny at the time but didn't really consider or think through the consequences properly) in burrs and they were all over me!

So needless to say, it hurt a lot, I HATE them both!!

And I look stupid now so you wont see any photos of my formally beautiful back end for a long while now, as she went mad with the scissors and I now look like a baboon!

Thats all from me for now.....

Just a quick one for today as mum has been slacking in her role!

I shall just air our grievances first before getting down to the main update

Number 1 - we have only been to the beach once this week!

Number 2 - we have been put on a diet! EXCUSE ME!!!!

Number 3 - The Flick Knife wielding monster has been eating my food and drinking my water

Number 4 - I am not getting enough attention

Number 5 - Still again not getting enough attention

Number 6 - Oh nearly forgot another monstrosity is in OUR room!!!

Number 7 - Weather has been horrible

Number 8 - We didn't go on our promised trip to Waipora Falls because the weather was bad (i mean is she allergic to a bit of rain??) No we got the Demon instead!

But the little thing isn't too bad really, we have made friends and it really pisses the stroppy tabby off anyway so that's a big hit with me!

I am at this minute really nagging mum and him to take us out and i think i am winning here!! so must rush, hope to have more photos soon.

Oh yes and I am now so good at paper collection!!! i will get some photos done so you can see!!

Oh and Wolfies got a new job that i have to say i am very impressed about. They have croissants you see in bed at weekends along with the filter coffee, so they put them in the oven and Wolfie tells them when they start to smell as it means they are done! He is a natural at it! Well you know what a bit of an 'old woman' he is, and a fusspot if things are not all straight and tidy etc, so of course burnt croissants he really don't like, so he starts getting all twitchy and wittery, you know how he is!!!!! a bit winey sometimes!

Anyway that's all for now as i feel a trip to the going to happen and my huffs and puffs are being noted!


Ummm wonder what they have bought me for xmas????

Life is just sooooo unfair!!

Well we were all quite happy rubbing along together here the five of us, and she goes and gets all fluffy clucky and picks up this horror! It is not on!! Animal Rights must stand for something here! Why should we be subjected to this level of abuse. My nose has been scratched already and all i was doing was being friendly and it launched itself across the room like that clip in The Exorcist! and it hasnt stopped being antisocial since, hiss, spit, launch, scratch!!



Anyway have had enough talking about the walking flick knife. Its name is Merlin by the way! Hardly worthy of the Majestic Icon's name he has been given. More like something from the dark side i reckon. It is probably The Omen!

We went out to the beach today and yesterday which is better than usual as you can see i am still a beautiful specimen.



Oh and we looked after the Animal Control Officer (we were very nice and didnt eat him or anything. anyway he was looking for some sheep, not us! I tried to get him to take the satanic monster but he wouldnt.

Anyway tommorrow we are off for a trip, so i will write more then.

Bye for now.

Ok so life is improving moderately!

Well we have been on a trip at least. And the cat was left home alone LOL!!!!!

We have been to a place called Invercargill, right down the bottom of the island so i have been informed. Anyway we had to stay in the car for a couple of hours when we got there cos 'they' had work to do (i know i nearly wet myself with the thought that 'she' was doing work (use the term lightly i think!!)!!! ha ha).

It was really hot around 28 degrees, so she left the engine running with the air con on for us, i tell ya we were like ice blocks in there! We thought it was dead good actually, especially when you watch (we were in a really good position to watch people in the car park) all these poor souls coming out of hot offices all sweaty, and there we are, 'dogs' with the air con running, bowl of water untouched as we were not thirsty!! blacked out windows oh it was just soooo good to see who is superior here! and humans think they are the superior ones because they have 'thumbs'!! Well, ask mum about that little myth as 'dew claws' work just as adequately!

It was funny when they came to get in it was too cold they left the doors open to let some of the cold out.

Then they took us to the beach, and it was nice there but she didnt take photos so sorry about her inefficency, they were talking 'work' cos he was rattled about something work related!!

B O R I N G!!

and it gets worse!!!!

to add insult to injury they woke us up at 3am till 5am talking about this bloody work issue as well! Do they not know that it is important for us to get undisturbed sleep?

Anyway after the beach we went to someones house called Heather (she is our new 'best friend') We worked on the full 110% charm offensive and won her around, and the others in the family thought we were worthy of some heavy duty attention too!

So yesterday morning we got up from our interrupted nights sleep and were taken for a nice bush walk. No water mind you but it was nice and it was quality 'us and mum' time!! We then went back to Heathers and she looked after us.

I have to say we were a bit concerned when mum left us there as we can remember the last time mum left us somewhere, that was on Gerry and Lesleys boat in September and mum didnt come back for us ever!!

So we were feeling a bit 'uh oh!!! here we go again, another abandonment and nasty journey in crates is pending' so we were a bit jittery, but Heather was lovely, she came and watched TV with us to make us feel better!!!

Mum and him returned a few hours later, so we feel more comfortable now. So, sorry Heather if you read this we didnt mean to be wittery and door watching, we will be really really good next time as we now know mum will come back and she isnt going to desert us like last time!

Anyway it was right nasty weather on the trip home, but we stopped at this place called Lake Waihola for a swim, well Wolfie did more than me. LOL!! Me and Paul had more stick issues we were negotiating so i only went out there a couple of times, one of them was because i wanted the stick Wolfie had!!

Anyway come back and had a mega big feed as she hadnt fed us since Sunday night (back to this fasting idea again i think!)

And then back to today really and i havent done much really and the paper didnt turn up this morning for me to collect so i didnt get my usual morning treat. Not happy!

Anyway till later fans

Simba

oh and Wolf too

Sorry the photos are a bit boring..... Just cant get the staff these days!

Hello, well what can i say except that 'she and he' decided to take us to thee seaside today!! After some very clever and extremely strategic negotiations on my part i have to say! (less is definately more!!) Good profile i feel?!?






But i tell you i wish we hadnt bothered, 'DOGGY BOOT CAMP' or what!!!! i dont know!, fetch, fetch, fetch!!! Well i got hacked off after the first to this result as u can see, i am the smart one here.. And they even resorted to the dirty tricks of trying to bribe me with treats. I ask you do they think i was born yesterday???? Do they really think i am that stupid. I am not a cat after all!



Anyway getting tired now as the bones are not what they used to be so need my rest! Till later, bye Simmy

Well my word, what has been going on....I bet you thought i had deserted you, oooops sorry 'we'!!

Well boring boring boring boring boring and more boring our life is so incredibly boring you would not believe it!

Arguement 1 - we have not been near the sea since Monday... It is now Saturday for gods sake! Her ladyship has been 'busy' - 'huh! my (incredibly trim (not like her lardy one)) backside!' no she just couldnt be bothered we reckon!

And then....yes there is more!!!

Arguement 2 - She has put bells on our collars! like a common cat! i mean! how dare she!




Arguement 3 - I have had to retrieve the paper everyday this week and she treats us like that!! Where is the RSPCA when you need them???

Arguement 4 - We were promised that we would get to keep our 'own room' it was ours, ok they had thoroughfare rights but it was 'our' room. Well that lasted oh all of 3 weeks, a white incredibly ugly monstrosity has moved in and takes up half of our room. Well i tell you the this is war now! i am on strike! they can go fetch the poxy paper themselves the lazy gits!

Arguement 5 - She has gone out in 'our' car everyday for hours, and she hasnt taken us! it is 'OUR' car not hers! how dare she!

Anyway at the moment i am working on a major charm offensive on 'him' i have him wrapped around my little toe pad, she will soon be ousted i can tell you!! i will be sleeping in that bed, and she will be out in our room! See how she likes it now we have 50% less space! (i will put a picture on for you to see, how our rights have been affected!!)

Anyway

Need some more sleep..... Oh nearly forgot she did buy us bones today! So i guess thats something! STILL WENT OUT WITHOUT US THOUGH!!!!!




Oh well thats all from us

Till i have something to report as my life is just tooo boring at the moment!

Simmy and Wolf!

NEWSFLASH

I WENT AND FETCHED THE PAPER TODAY!!

Well mum pointed to it and told me to fetch it and then i ran all around the house with it and exchanged it for a biscuit! I was so clever. See, over here they get them thrown in the garden early in the morning and they are wrapped in cling film to protect it from the weather and thats good as i cant damage it with my slobber. Mum reckons on this being my new job every day. I reckon i can do that! It was fun and they were so pleased with me.

I then helped mum do the gardening today, and finished off chewing on the bones.

I will ask mum to take a photo of me tommorrow morning for you all to see.

Better than the wingeing useless creature called Dessie who sits on her fat backside all day long wittering on about how bad her life is!